Wednesday, August 09, 2006

To Simper and Smirk and Make Love to Them All

When I am at work, I simper and smirk and make love to them all. And when I tell them that I do not like people at all, and that I particularly dislike someone I was just then nice to, they are shocked. It bothers them that I am not as I portray myself.

How can we say that we are not as we act. If we define ourselves by our actions, then we only be as we act. If we define ourselves by how we feel we are, then actions take a secondary roll and no one can say they know another.

Because I am kind at work, people think I like to be kind.

I do not know how I am, but I know that I am contradictory in how I act and how I feel. This can’t be good for one’s health.


JustApril said...

Well.... it's nice to be nice, especially at work. Just b/c you dislike a person doesn't mean you have to hurt their feelings to be yourself. Some people will always just clash with you. It doesn't necessarily mean you are being fake, just that you'd rather not be rude or confrontational. There are people I don't enjoy so much to whom I behave civilly. I'm not so FRIENDLY with people I don't like, but I use good manners. Being kind is always a good thing.

Leanne said...

in customer service, you have to act friendly. if you're not, you won't last. it's rare that you find someone in a customer service job that is genuinely friendly to everyone at all times. I do the same thing. Things cost money, faking friendly pays the bills. It's not always fun, but i feel it is self preservation until i get educated enough to move on to a job that doesn't require the mask of friendliness...

Jen said...

Interesting because I like to think that I associate who I am with how I feel, but how I feel is constantly in a state of evolving, which really grants me no understanding to who I am. But many of my actions are guided by how I feel as well. I won't do things if they don't feel right.

I don't see anything wrong with being confrontational. I have to admit, I hate confrontation myself, but I also hate evading problems. I hate letting them simmer just below the surface. I think that is a lot less healthy than avoiding the issue.

In the retail world, there is no room for argument or confrontation. That's both the downside and the upside of it all. It paints a nice black and white picture. A yes or no sort of situation. At least it's supposed to be that way. The assumption is, you'll like everyone you interact with, you'll be pleasant and receptive, the reality is, most of the people are assholes, demanding, pretentious and annoying. Your job, as a member service rep, is to maintain that friendly veneer.

I find I spend so much time maintaining this facade that I tend to actually believe it. It's both unsettling and pacifying.

unenlightened said...

Is it the problem that I am false or is it that I am unkind? Suppose I was filled with love and compassion, but had to appear very severe and grumpy to avoid being swamped by needy/greedy followers? Is my false harshness a problem? I don't think so, at least not the same kind of problem.

JustApril said...

I should mention, that I AM confrontational by nature and that I don't mind it at all, like Jen said, letting things simmer..etc - very bad for me. I also know that I don't do well in customer service for more than a couple weeks at a time. I used to work in a Customer Service Center as the Adm Assitant to the Manager there. She usd to laugh at me for how terrible I was at it! Sometimes I'd have to fill in if we were short of reps, and I could do it for a few days, but then pretty soon, I'd be about to POP from the frustration of not being able to tell off somebody. haha