Monday, June 30, 2008

getting better

Thank you all for your comments. You are all so kind and it really helped make me feel better. Reading what you wrote even brought a few happy tears to my eyes.

I know that most people who know me would not agree, but I actually consider myself a very pessimistic person. It's not that I always expect the worst to happen, it's just that I want to be prepared for it when it does. With any serious illness, one's attitude towards life has a huge effect on how the illness takes it's course. It's funny (in a ha, ha, I'm not laughing sort of way) how being seriously ill cultivates negative thought when positive thoughts can lessen or, in some cases, cure the illness. I could quite easily spend my days wallowing in my own self pity, but I know that this is not the way to reclaim my life. No matter what this illness takes from me, I will not let it completely obliterate those small things that bring me joy.

Like this blog. I made a pact with myself that this would be a place for harbouring good feelings. Trampled by Geese would be a place to remind myself of what inspires me. This is a place to remind myself of the small joys in my life. That way, when I'm having the darkest of days, I can still find a little bit of hope by coming here and reading about something that gives me hope. I can be inspired by your comments and supportive words.

It broke my heart to turn down that job. I spent the weekend feeling sorry for myself, but it's Monday now, and I'm not going to sulk about it any longer. I can be very stubborn when it counts. There has to be some way that I can still participate in this world that I love, only by working from home. Yep, that's right, it was a yarn related job that I turned down. I just have to find a way not to let this illness take everything away from me. Even if I can only manage half an hour here and there, there must be something I can accomplish.

1 comment:

Josiane said...

I hope that every day brings you plenty of small (and bigger!) things that bring you joy. You have a wonderful attitude, and I'm sure you'll find the way to participate as actively as you can in this world that you love.
I want you to know that you are an inspiration to me. Don't hesitate to let me know if there's anything I can do to help.