Friday, May 20, 2011
Joy and something
I don't know what happened.
Sometimes I blame myself, and sometimes I'm just mystified by the loss of it. It just sort of happened, and I don't think that there is anyone to blame. But if something happens, then someone has to be to blame, and there isn't anyone but myself in this... so by that logic, maybe I should blame myself. But I don't, except sometimes, when I do.
I still don't understand why it happened.
It happened one day: I realized that I hadn't played with yarn for weeks. I haven't spun, knit, woven, tatted, or anything yarn related for months now. What's that about?
It's like somehow I've misplaced my joy for yarn. It's probably with my glasses, wherever they've got to.
I wonder if it will come back, my joy for yarn. I watched this film the other day, about Kiki the witch, who lost her witch powers but found them again when she least expected. I wonder if it's like that.
But that's why I haven't been around the blog lately. There is just nothing yarn related going on, and I don't know if there will be much in the future. I've just lost my enthusiasm for it. I don't know why.
The only thing I have enthusiasm for these days (aside from farming) is writing. But that's something that I don't think will go anywhere. I have ideas of what I want to write about, a few stories I want to tell, and I would love to write a book about Household Management, but... I don't have the skills to get beyond the second draft. I wonder if I could find a mentor. I find it hard to motivate myself to write if there is no one to edit what I create.... but that's worry for another day.
Now, it's time to focus on the farm.